Oh I Wish I Was An . . .
Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at 00:00
By Marcel Strigberger
A recent survey released by the American National Law Journal indicates that about one third of lawyers would rather be doing something else. Top alternate choices are business generally followed by investment banker, doctor, writer, journalist and veterinarian.
Many days I find myself in this one-third group, and when it happens I would rather do almost anything else.
I often speak to fellow counsel about this issue and most say something like,"We should get out of this profession; start a business."
When pressed further however they usually say something like, "Oh, something in computers."
This profound statement unfortunately is on par with that in the early scene from the classic movie The Graduate, in which Mrs. Robinson's husband comes over to Dustin Hoffman and tells him the one word solution for future careers: "Plastics". Like this will turn the world around.
Maybe now there may be another possibility.
The other day I heard that television commercial jingle where a little boy sings something like, "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener, that is what I really want to be. And if I was an Oscar Meyer wiener, then everyone would be in love with me."
Actually it sounded good to me. And I am sure many colleagues would concur and rather become Oscar Meyer wieners. Of all the downsides in practicing law (overhead, time pressures etc.) worst of all is that too many people distrust and despise lawyers. Even Shakespeare said, "First let us kill all the lawyers."
The appreciation we get often rivals that received by Stalin.
This being the case, when I heard that commercial I deeply empathized with that little boy and his great need to be loved by everyone and if being an Oscar Meyer wiener means having the whole world like you, then so be it. I thought to myself, "Hey kid, you are not alone."
I am sure that if that survey was held again today and that jingle was played to all these lawyers, then many would indeed opt the wiener route.
The question now becomes, how do we pull it off? How does one become an Oscar Meyer wiener?
It's not as if there's a course at Seneca College leading to a diploma in OMW. It might be an idea if there were. But for the time being I doubt that even an intensive surfing on the Internet would disclose something like "Be more appreciated by everyone. Win more friends. Have you considered becoming an Oscar Meyer wiener?" I did in fact try "www.lawyer-wiener.com". No bananas. I came up short.
Nor can you approach it the traditional way. Apprenticing. Many trades-people before the days of community colleges used to learn their trades by working as apprentices for their master tradesmen, thus earning their wings. And medical doctors must intern a year or two before they get released to freely poke and prod us. Even lawyers used to go through similar ropes in lieu of university and they still serve in Canada as articling students as they hone their skills.
I somehow doubt that there is an apprenticing program at Oscar Meyers. If there were I would just love to see my parents when asked, "And what is your son doing this year?" I don't think so.
Then there is always the genie or a good fairy route. Cinderella did not do too badly after she received a visit from her good fairy. A pumpkin, some mice and bibity bopity boo. And Dorothy's good witch managed to beam her back to Kansas from Oz by saying, "Just click with your heels."
To date I have not come across any good fairies nor suspicious looking lamps which I can rub and keep my fingers crossed. I am certain if a genie would leap out it would throw him for a loop if my first wish went like, " Mr. Genie, you know that little boy on television..."
This brings me back to square one. And plastics. Or should I say computers. For the time being I shall stay in law. Anyhow you cannot please all of the people all of the time. As an Oscar Meyer wiener I would probably not do too much for all the vegetarians out there. They'd rather eat pumpkins.
A recent survey released by the American National Law Journal indicates that about one third of lawyers would rather be doing something else. Top alternate choices are business generally followed by investment banker, doctor, writer, journalist and veterinarian.
Many days I find myself in this one-third group, and when it happens I would rather do almost anything else.
I often speak to fellow counsel about this issue and most say something like,"We should get out of this profession; start a business."
When pressed further however they usually say something like, "Oh, something in computers."
This profound statement unfortunately is on par with that in the early scene from the classic movie The Graduate, in which Mrs. Robinson's husband comes over to Dustin Hoffman and tells him the one word solution for future careers: "Plastics". Like this will turn the world around.
Maybe now there may be another possibility.
The other day I heard that television commercial jingle where a little boy sings something like, "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener, that is what I really want to be. And if I was an Oscar Meyer wiener, then everyone would be in love with me."
Actually it sounded good to me. And I am sure many colleagues would concur and rather become Oscar Meyer wieners. Of all the downsides in practicing law (overhead, time pressures etc.) worst of all is that too many people distrust and despise lawyers. Even Shakespeare said, "First let us kill all the lawyers."
The appreciation we get often rivals that received by Stalin.
This being the case, when I heard that commercial I deeply empathized with that little boy and his great need to be loved by everyone and if being an Oscar Meyer wiener means having the whole world like you, then so be it. I thought to myself, "Hey kid, you are not alone."
I am sure that if that survey was held again today and that jingle was played to all these lawyers, then many would indeed opt the wiener route.
The question now becomes, how do we pull it off? How does one become an Oscar Meyer wiener?
It's not as if there's a course at Seneca College leading to a diploma in OMW. It might be an idea if there were. But for the time being I doubt that even an intensive surfing on the Internet would disclose something like "Be more appreciated by everyone. Win more friends. Have you considered becoming an Oscar Meyer wiener?" I did in fact try "www.lawyer-wiener.com". No bananas. I came up short.
Nor can you approach it the traditional way. Apprenticing. Many trades-people before the days of community colleges used to learn their trades by working as apprentices for their master tradesmen, thus earning their wings. And medical doctors must intern a year or two before they get released to freely poke and prod us. Even lawyers used to go through similar ropes in lieu of university and they still serve in Canada as articling students as they hone their skills.
I somehow doubt that there is an apprenticing program at Oscar Meyers. If there were I would just love to see my parents when asked, "And what is your son doing this year?" I don't think so.
Then there is always the genie or a good fairy route. Cinderella did not do too badly after she received a visit from her good fairy. A pumpkin, some mice and bibity bopity boo. And Dorothy's good witch managed to beam her back to Kansas from Oz by saying, "Just click with your heels."
To date I have not come across any good fairies nor suspicious looking lamps which I can rub and keep my fingers crossed. I am certain if a genie would leap out it would throw him for a loop if my first wish went like, " Mr. Genie, you know that little boy on television..."
This brings me back to square one. And plastics. Or should I say computers. For the time being I shall stay in law. Anyhow you cannot please all of the people all of the time. As an Oscar Meyer wiener I would probably not do too much for all the vegetarians out there. They'd rather eat pumpkins.
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© 2007 Marcel Strigberger. This article CANNOT be copied or reproduced in any way without the expressed written consent of the Author.
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