Class Donuts
Monday, June 16, 2008 at 04:00
Posted by Marcel Strigberger
Tim Hortons was in the news recently when a story surfaced about an employee getting fired for giving a toddler a freebie Timbit. Another story followed about a week plus long trial wherein an employee was suing for wrongful dismissal for allegedly stealing a toonie.
And now here comes the big one. Franchisees are staring a class action for 1.95 billion dollars claiming that a couple of years ago, Tim Hortons made them switch from freshly oven baked donuts to frozen donuts which the franchisees heat up in expensive microwaves they were forced to buy. They claim their profit margins have plummeted drastically as the freshly baked cost them about 9 cents a donut and the frozen micro job cost them about 20 cents.
Being an avid Tim Hortons donut fan, I can see another class action about to start freshly baking. News of the fact that their donuts, which I wrongfully assumed were freshly baked, has shocked me. The Supreme Court of Canada recently tossed out the Mustapha, “fly in the Culligan water case”, saying there is no way Culligan would reasonably have foreseen Mustapha coming down with serious psychological consequences following his spying of that floating fly in his kitchen water cooler. But to serve loyal and unsuspecting Tim Hortons donut customers frozen and microwave heated donuts is to open the floodgates to the psychiatric couch. This callous action borders on heresy.
Since hearing the news I cannot look at another donut. In fact I have developed a strong aversion to similar looking round objects. I drove by the nearby Montreal Bagel Bakery the other day and I started to tremble. My mouth dried up. I began to hyperventilate and I needed to breath in and out of a paper bag for 30 seconds. My condition got even worse when I noticed the bag I had reached for in my glove compartment was a Tim Hortons bag.
And my shock even extends to non-food round objects. I have not listened to my stereo in three days as I am unable to even touch a CD.
I am sure there must be thousands of Tim Horton customers who have developed a similar neurosis. Just imagine what toll this cataclysmic event must be taking on our police officers.
Tim Hortons owed a duty of care to its faithful donut loving customers. They breached their duty. And most important the mass nervous shock their breach has caused by serving frozen micro zapped donuts was as foreseeable as the Toronto Maple Leafs starting their golf season in April. I see the consumer class action on the nearby horizon. And this class action will make the 1.95 billion dollars claim by the franchisees look like Timbits.
And now here comes the big one. Franchisees are staring a class action for 1.95 billion dollars claiming that a couple of years ago, Tim Hortons made them switch from freshly oven baked donuts to frozen donuts which the franchisees heat up in expensive microwaves they were forced to buy. They claim their profit margins have plummeted drastically as the freshly baked cost them about 9 cents a donut and the frozen micro job cost them about 20 cents.
Being an avid Tim Hortons donut fan, I can see another class action about to start freshly baking. News of the fact that their donuts, which I wrongfully assumed were freshly baked, has shocked me. The Supreme Court of Canada recently tossed out the Mustapha, “fly in the Culligan water case”, saying there is no way Culligan would reasonably have foreseen Mustapha coming down with serious psychological consequences following his spying of that floating fly in his kitchen water cooler. But to serve loyal and unsuspecting Tim Hortons donut customers frozen and microwave heated donuts is to open the floodgates to the psychiatric couch. This callous action borders on heresy.
Since hearing the news I cannot look at another donut. In fact I have developed a strong aversion to similar looking round objects. I drove by the nearby Montreal Bagel Bakery the other day and I started to tremble. My mouth dried up. I began to hyperventilate and I needed to breath in and out of a paper bag for 30 seconds. My condition got even worse when I noticed the bag I had reached for in my glove compartment was a Tim Hortons bag.
And my shock even extends to non-food round objects. I have not listened to my stereo in three days as I am unable to even touch a CD.
I am sure there must be thousands of Tim Horton customers who have developed a similar neurosis. Just imagine what toll this cataclysmic event must be taking on our police officers.
Tim Hortons owed a duty of care to its faithful donut loving customers. They breached their duty. And most important the mass nervous shock their breach has caused by serving frozen micro zapped donuts was as foreseeable as the Toronto Maple Leafs starting their golf season in April. I see the consumer class action on the nearby horizon. And this class action will make the 1.95 billion dollars claim by the franchisees look like Timbits.
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