Tigers, hydrants and clubs, oh my
Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 19:00
Posted by Marcel Strigberger
I for one have bought Tiger Woods’ explanation that his wife Elin smashed his vehicle with a golf club to rescue him after he crashed into a fire hydrant.
Here is what I believe happened: Elin no doubt ran out after hearing the bang. Seeing that the car’s doors were locked and her husband was slumped behind the wheel, she went back inside and came out with Tiger’s golf clubs. By chance a caddy passed by and she asked him which club to use to free her husband. The caddy suggested using the car key. Elin commented that this would not quite suit her purpose. The caddy then suggested in the alternative that she use a putter. Elin however was hesitant, arguing that this was a Cadillac, not a Volkswagen beetle. After some discussion, they agreed on a 9 iron. Rescue achieved.
Now tell me, is that story worth all of the fuss the media is making? After all, didn’t he apologize to the fire hydrant?
Staying on the topic of games people play, December is BINGO month. The game was officially launched on December 1, 1929, by its inventor Edwin Lowe. The game then was actually called “ BEANO”. If you won, you had to shout out “BEANO!” This would not sit well with me today. If I’d be at a game all wired up, and the caller would announce, “ A 48", I’d scratch my head and say, “Hey, let me see that ball”.
The game was soon changed to “BINGO” as Lowe liked the name better. The sudden change upset some people who were not aware of the recent amendments. One night in 1931 a priest at St. Cynthia’s Church in Lucas, Kansas was calling the numbers in the new version BINGO game when a pensioner, one Mabel Pennyweather, believed she had a winning card. She called out “BEANO," only to be disqualified by Father Mulholand for taking the name of the game in vain. Miss Pennyweather and her 3 sisters were livid and they proceeded to charge at the priest forcing him to take quick refuge in a confessional. One of the sisters, Edna Pennyweather, broke the confessional door using a pitchfork she grabbed off a nearby choirboy. When police arrived, the sisters claimed they were only trying to rescue the priest.
If you are saying, “Toto, this doesn’t sound like Kansas,” you’re right. And you probably will not also believe that earlier fiction about Tiger. Oh my!
Here is what I believe happened: Elin no doubt ran out after hearing the bang. Seeing that the car’s doors were locked and her husband was slumped behind the wheel, she went back inside and came out with Tiger’s golf clubs. By chance a caddy passed by and she asked him which club to use to free her husband. The caddy suggested using the car key. Elin commented that this would not quite suit her purpose. The caddy then suggested in the alternative that she use a putter. Elin however was hesitant, arguing that this was a Cadillac, not a Volkswagen beetle. After some discussion, they agreed on a 9 iron. Rescue achieved.
Now tell me, is that story worth all of the fuss the media is making? After all, didn’t he apologize to the fire hydrant?
Staying on the topic of games people play, December is BINGO month. The game was officially launched on December 1, 1929, by its inventor Edwin Lowe. The game then was actually called “ BEANO”. If you won, you had to shout out “BEANO!” This would not sit well with me today. If I’d be at a game all wired up, and the caller would announce, “ A 48", I’d scratch my head and say, “Hey, let me see that ball”.
The game was soon changed to “BINGO” as Lowe liked the name better. The sudden change upset some people who were not aware of the recent amendments. One night in 1931 a priest at St. Cynthia’s Church in Lucas, Kansas was calling the numbers in the new version BINGO game when a pensioner, one Mabel Pennyweather, believed she had a winning card. She called out “BEANO," only to be disqualified by Father Mulholand for taking the name of the game in vain. Miss Pennyweather and her 3 sisters were livid and they proceeded to charge at the priest forcing him to take quick refuge in a confessional. One of the sisters, Edna Pennyweather, broke the confessional door using a pitchfork she grabbed off a nearby choirboy. When police arrived, the sisters claimed they were only trying to rescue the priest.
If you are saying, “Toto, this doesn’t sound like Kansas,” you’re right. And you probably will not also believe that earlier fiction about Tiger. Oh my!
Add a comment